Strong Enough

The first day of a new cycle is a tough day.  There's not use in sugar coating it - the day sucks.  Most women get their period and at most are unhappy about the inconvenience or the way your body feels.  For women struggling with infertility, the first day of a new cycle is letdown day.

Each month is a roller coaster from start to finish.  You start off disappointed (we'll get back to this) due to the new cycle, then begin to get over it as the disappointment fades, you get more hopeful as another ovulation time hits, anxious as you get closer to your new cycle, and then disappointed when the new cycle hits.  No one really understands the vicious ride your emotions take when you're trying to conceive, even if you're in a period where you know the chances are low.

It really is a day to day process.  Each day I must awake, setting my sights on things above and remembering that my journey isn't over yet.  Most days are doable, but that first day of the new cycle when you realize your dreams wont be realized for yet ANOTHER month..... those days I don't feel strong enough to handle it anymore.  I don't feel like I can survive the process.  My emotions crash back to earth and I know that if I'm trying to rely on my own strength, I won't make it.  I'm constantly in need of a higher power.  A power that promises to take care of me for HIS good and HIS purpose.  I can do ALL things if He gives me strength.

"You must think I'm strong
To give me what I'm going through

Well, forgive me
Forgive me if I'm wrong
But this looks like more than I can doOn my own
...
Maybe that's the point
To reach the point of giving up

Cause when I'm finally
Finally at rock bottom
Well, that's when I start looking up
And reaching out

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough

For the both of us"