It all began some time ago....
May 2011: I had just finished my Master's Degree, and since I'm a teacher, that's a big deal so you can begin to make more money and have a more secure certification. My husband and I had one rule for waiting to try to have kids: we wanted to make sure we had a house that was big enough to have a child instead of our 1 bedroom apartment that we started our marriage in. We moved in March 2010, but I knew trying to have a baby while I was finishing my Master's was a bad idea. So a year later I finished and realized the time had come to begin to try to have a baby.
Those of you who are teachers understand when I say I felt the need to plan it. And plan it WELL. Teachers have weird schedules, being that we teach for 10 months and are off for 2 and we only get so much maternity leave, combined with sick and personal days. So as soon as my Master's was finished, I went into plan mode. I counted the months I'd be pregnant, counted the weeks I'd get off and realized I could give birth any time from February on. That meant trying to conceive in June. Perfect.
June 2011: The husband and I try to conceive and I am convinced it would work the first time out. I couldn't tell you why. I keep track of EVERYTHING (like a good OCD girl) and when I realize I'm not pregnant, I deflate a little. Ok, maybe I sick, or maybe the timing was wrong. (Notice all the focus and trust is in ME) Onto month #2...
July 2011: Since this month was not successful either and it happened to be my annual exam month, I figure I'll ask my gynecologist what we might be doing wrong. "Too often" is what I am told. He keeps telling me that he'll "see me in 5 months", which I am a little put off by. How could he be sure I'd absolutely get pregnant in that time? He qualifies by saying that if it doesn't happen in 5 months of trying, I should come back to see him. (Notice all the trust is in the DOCTOR)
November 2011: You saw where this was going right? Well, we go back to see him where he orders several tests. Two blood tests for me (Day 3 and Day 21) and a semen test for my husband. My tests are fine. The husband's tests.... not fine, but could have been due to illness. They need to be repeated in December.
December 2011: Husband repeats semen test to same results. The gyno suggests a fertility doctor from this point on.
January 2012: We meet with the fertility doctor who, thanks to our health care plan (yes the one through the school district) we have limited options for coverage. He suggests trying somewhat naturally with the help of monthly blood tests and instructions of when to time intercourse. (Notice all the trust is in the DOCTOR)
March 2012: After 3 cycles of no results, the doctor puts me on a low dose of Clomid to try and get more eggs. More nets = more targets = more possible goals.
April 2012: I see the doctor on my monthly visit. This time, it's a different doctor, as mine is on vacation. (oddity #1). He sits me down and says "You have less than 1% of conceiving naturally. Has anyone suggested that your husband see a urologist?" Umm, no they haven't (oddity #2). Later that day, I'm called and told that due to the timing, the doctor wants to do an IUI THE NEXT DAY. Thankfully, I'm on my spring break from school so I have the time to go (oddity #3). This turns out to not be successful. Husband goes to the urologist where he is told he has a varicocele and it needs to be fixed via outpatient surgery. He has the surgery (successfully) and we are told that we won't know how this helped fertility (if at all) for at least 3 months. Doctor orders a follow up semen test in late July/early August. (Now who is my trust in....?)
August 2012: "Natural" cycle. (No drugs). Not pregnant.
September 2012: Clomid cycle. Not pregnant.
October 2012: Letrozole cycle. Not pregnant.
November 2012: Mental health break. The process begins to wear emotionally.
December 2012: IUI #2 with Follistim. Not pregnant (though if lab was not in error, chemical pregnancy. They aren't sure if there was an error or not *eyeroll*)
January 2013: IUI #3 with Follistim. Not pregnant.
February 2013: IUI #4 with Follistim canceled due to doctor error. (New doctor lowered my dose too much and cause early ovulation. DUMB.)
March 2013: Birth control pill to start IVF cycle #1
April 2013: IVF #1 with Follistim, Menopur, and Lupron. 4 eggs retrieved, 3 ICSI'ed, 2 mature and transferred.
May 2013: Positive pregnancy test!
June 2013: Forced miscarriage at 7w3d due to Blighted Ovum.
July 2013: IUI #5 with Follistim. Not pregnant.
August 2013: Switched doctors and immediately went into IVF #2. 12 eggs retrieved, 9 ICSI'ed, 6 mature, 2 transferred, 4 frozen. Not pregnant.
September 2013: 1st FET with 2 transferred. Not pregnant.
August 2014: 2nd FET with 2 transferred. Positive pregnancy test
September 2014: Beta values continue to climb, while nothing visible on ultrasound. Forced miscarriage at 7w3d. Needed to have a D&C. Decided to end fertility journey.
We are living day to day, with a faith and hope in our supreme Creator, who has promised all things for His glory. We rest in the promise that we are His and He "works for the good of those who love Him."
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