I took a break in November from everything. It got to be too much emotionally and I needed a month to just.... breathe. Exhale a little and regroup. It was a crazy month at school anyway, so it worked out just fine. But by the time December came, I was ready to start the fertility train again. This time, we weren't going to waste anytime. IUI, here we come.
The month of December was an interesting one, full of God's hand. At the beginning of my cycle, I started on injection hormones. This is another way for a woman to produce more than just one egg. After about 5 days, I had to go back into the office to see how well I was doing and there it looked like 7 follicles were developing (Remember: ovaries hold follicles which grow the eggs.) That means 7 eggs were becoming "mature" aka ready to release. Uh, I'm sorry, 7? I didn't order that many. Nurses reassured me that it wouldn't really be 7. My body would only release the number of eggs that were "maturest" (ok not the most official word) when they gave me the trigger shot to release them in a few days. Turns out, when it came time to trigger the egg release, only 4 were mature enough to release. Had the IUI done a few days after that and it gave me a reason to take a day off from school. Who wouldn't jump at THAT chance.
There was more to all of this than meets the eye. First, the doctor commented at one point that my body "really likes" the fertility drug I was using. Meaning, it responded extremely well and didn't seem to give me any side effects whatsoever. Second, due to a certain hormone level in my body, the doctor and nurses expected me to not respond as well as I did. They said I "defied the odds and proved them all wrong." Third, the only fertility issue we've been diagnosed with is a low sperm count. At the IUI? at least 10 million above what they consider average or normal. Fourth, I was told at the IUI by the doctor to "come back in a week" for a progesterone shot. I made the appointment and went on my way. Later that week, I got many phone calls at my house saying I needed to call them. Turns out, they only needed to change the location of my appointment, but after talking to the receptionist further, she realized my appointment was too late! I needed to come in a few days sooner for the progesterone shot.
After finding out the results were negative, I got to thinking. I realized how present God was throughout the process. He made everything perfect when it shouldn't have been. The sperm count shouldn't have been so high. I shouldn't have responded as well to the drugs. I should have missed the progesterone shot. He lined everything up. Initially, I thought He made everything "perfect" so we would become pregnant, but it turned out to be much more important than that. He needed us to trust Him. To trust that He was present. To trust that He was involved in this process and cared. Learning that lesson was a tremendous weight off my shoulders. I was finally able to find peace in this process and let God have the reins. He allowed me to get a glimpse of Him working so that I could believe he has us. He's got us. Always. He will come through. Always.
This song has more meaning than I've shared, but I'll share it in the future. Something to look forward to ;)
"Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always"
