The month of July has turned into forgiveness month in our house. I'd say it's bizarre, but God doesn't do bizarre. And as I've proven in an earlier post, He doesn't do coincidences either. In the past 19 days, my husband and I have had reconciliations with 5 different people that we had issues with in the past 4 years. I'm not kidding.
It started off innocently enough. My husband asked if I was willing to get together with another couple that I hadn't spoken to in 3 years. (I'd been holding a grudge against the wife; our husbands have been getting together once or twice a year since we last spoke). The Holy Spirit tugged at my heart and said "it's time." So we scheduled it. We met this past Friday. It brought us peace in our friendship.
That same week, I was cleaning out my Facebook messages and came across a message I had sent an old friend that caused her to effectively end our relationship. I re-read it and realized how condescending it sounded. So I sent her an email asking for her forgiveness. It brought me peace in my soul.
The next week, my husband was coming home and saw a neighbor of ours that we had a major issue with back in February. The two of them exchanged angry words and the police were even called (by us). He said that he felt the Holy Spirit pushing him to apologize for his anger causing him to get out of hand. It brought peace to both of us here at home.
At some point, a friend I was holding bitterness towards commented on a status of mine on facebook with a compliment of sorts. The Holy Spirit encouraged me to answer it in the same spirit her message was sent: kindness. It brought me peace from bitterness.
Lastly, yesterday a groomsmen from our wedding, who we haven't seen or spoken to since he walked out of our reception early showed up at my husband's baseball game. My husband was tremendously hurt, but when he walked off the field between innings and saw him, he graciously shook his hand and asked him how things were going. It brought my husband peace.
Like I said, God doesn't do coincidences or random. He's methodical. Purposeful. Exact. So what does all this mean and how does it relate to fertility?
Each of these situations was something unsettled in our lives. It caused some sort of hurt on the emotions spectrum and caused our souls some level of distress. However, in 19 days, Christ gave peace in not one, not two but FIVE situations that needed it. He was showing us something. Kind of symbolic, I feel. He was saying, "look at all these situations that caused you stress. They are all at least 6 months old, with the oldest being 4 years old. That's a long time. However, even after all that time, I still gave you peace, didn't I? And after all that time, I was still thinking of you. I promised to take care of you and I did. Now that you're facing another difficult time, are you not going to trust me? If I didn't leave you when it came to peace with the lives of others, why would I leave you when it comes to creating another life?"
It call comes down to trust. Do I trust Him? Yes. There will always be shades of doubt, of wonder, of discouragement. That's normal. We're sinners who lack the ability to see as far as God can. But it doesn't allow us to not follow Him when He asks us to. To wait when He asks us to. To forgive when He asks us to. To ask for forgiveness when He asks us to. When He asks, we need to be willing to say, I will.
"All your ways are good
All your ways are sure
I will trust in you alone
Higher than my side
High above my life
I will trust in you alone
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/c/chris_tomlin/i_will_follow.html ]
Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you"
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