Everywhere

I was on Pinterest a few weeks ago and saw a picture of a very cute necklace.  I went searching online to see if I could find one locally and it was nowhere to be found.  The only place I could find it was Etsy.com, which is a site where people make their own stuff and sell it.  The ones on there were expensive and even though I love it, I decided I would wait to get one.  See, it was 2 lovebirds on a branch and the ones on Etsy, you can get letters printed on leaves that hang from the branch.  Adorable.  So I figured I would be patient and wait until either a) I got pregnant or b) knew I would never get pregnant and could therefore afford it. I put it out of my mind since that was my decision.

I was at Target this morning and perusing the jewelry section for a completely different item when I look down and there's the necklace.  Exact. Same. Necklace.  At a price that was ridiculous, in a good way.  I was so stunned.  I picked it up, waited until I got out in the car (after paying of course) and started to cry.

Seems ridiculous, right?  But here's what it felt like: God gave me a gift.  It was a way for Him to tell me I was important or special.  But as I drove away, I realized it was even deeper than that.  He knew a deep desire of mine. Without me having to say a word.  I never told a single soul about that necklace. Why would I?  It was a desire that I kept to myself.  But He KNEW.  He knew without me asking or saying a word.  That's a tremendously overwhelming feeling.  Especially in the midst of something as huge as fertility struggles.  To have Him give me this scenario is Him gently whispering, "Trust me.  Hang in there a little longer.  I've been hearing you this whole time.  Just trust me because I love you."

It may seem foolish to get so emotional about a necklace.  And yeah it probably is.  But it's what it symbolizes to ME that makes it significant.  HE knew it would mean something for me to find that.  And He knew I needed it right then.  This week has been particularly difficult and for the first time in the process, I've felt inklings of wanting to give up.

This small gesture has encouraged me to hold on with Him until He's done, whichever way it turns out.  I'm extremely moved that my Savior loves me enough to speak to me, encourage me in ways that are unique to ME.  He's everywhere I look, as long as I keep my eyes open, looking for Him.

"You’re every time I turn around 

In every sound
You’re in the very air I breathe
You’re up above
And now I know
You’re in my soul
You’re in the very depths of me

And every step I take
I take by faith
Oh and now I see

I believe"